Toast to a Good Lie

Suspended for three days - a big blemish in my high school life. How did this happen? What major offense could I have done?

Well, for starters, I never cheated in my entire life as an Atenean, so you could erase that from your guess list. Cheating could lead you to 2-3 days of suspension, and possibly even expulsion. What other heinous crimes are left? Fist fighting, indecency, vandalism, truancy, going to school under the influence of alcohol, excessive disrespect - these are some of the remaining offenses that could lead to suspension, and guess what? I’m guilty of the last three.

It all happened on an unlucky Friday night. I was a sophomore in the Ateneo High School. There was a class night for the Symphonic Ensemble, a group of musicians in which I was a member. Call time was 6 p.m. I was playing billiards at a place I hung out almost everyday after school. I could say I’ve got skill in the sport, plus memorizing the texture of the cloth of the billiard tables in that place makes me able to beat almost anyone (assuming they’re non-professional). It became like a disease to me to get money. It was too addicting. Gambling was my strength, but also my weakness. At 7 p.m, I was still in that pool hall. My friends told me to just go late to the class night and have a few drinks first. How could I say no? I had very few friends in Symphonic Ensemble anyway.

The night passed almost too quickly. I had 6 bottles of beer. I had no experience drinking, so I became bloodshot red. I knew what I was doing was wrong, but at that time, physically, everything felt so right. I was so ecstatic over anything. I kept on laughing. It was like I was floating on air. Seriously, nothing could’ve gotten me down that night.

I went to school obviously under the influence. My friends and I had plans of escape already. I changed one of my friends’ names into “Dad”. Just in case they ask for my parents’ numbers, my friend was ready to act as my father. I was acting all Nostradamus here, predicting all the possible things that could happen. Indeed it did. The authorities questioned my condition, and I told them I only drank one bottle. They looked at my eyes, the eyes of a liar. I knew they didn’t believe me. They asked for my landline which I said was broken. They wanted my father’s number after. “My ingenious plan is working!” I thought. They called my “dad” while my friend acted his best to imitate him. After a long conversation, the authorities told me to get some sleep already. I went to the assigned room where I was to sleep, and I kept thinking how the worst has come to pass.

I was a genius: that much was true—or so I would delude myself into thinking. I slept at the room with full confidence that I have succeeded in my ploy. How could I have failed when I was always one step ahead of my interlocutors? Too smart, too smart—I thought I was too smart for all of them. I had gotten away, scot-free. I slept with little difficulty; my eyelids felt heavy from intoxication. Sleep came naturally, in spite of the fact that my academic and disciplinary records were at stake.

The sun peeping through the windows already, I awoke the following morning with my throat sore. There was a rancid taste in my mouth and I wondered what had happened. It took around a few minutes to realize that I have, indeed, thrown up: on myself and on the floor as well. I went to the bathroom, cleaned myself up, and drank from the nearby drinking fountain. I had almost forgotten about the mess I left at the floor and luckily, no one was up yet—or so I thought.

Back at the room, I found the moderator with a gaze so intense it would’ve made me explode. It was obvious that he was angry, and it was also apparent from his facial expression that he didn’t believe any of my lies.

Paraphrasing what I could remember:

-Rein, are you sure you didn’t get drunk last night? I could make the sanction less severe if you tell me the truth.

-No sir, I wasn’t drunk. I had one bottle of beer and that’s it. You could call my dad again, but he’s a bit grouchy in the morning. You can try a bit later though.

-Sigurado ka ba iho? Lakas ng amoy mo kagabi, alam mo ba ‘yon?

Now at this point, I was caught unaware. This sudden shift from English to Filipino really messed up my thought process. Why can’t people just stick to one language and use that? Especially when in the process of interrogating someone, and most especially when the person at the receiving end was none other than me?

Ugh. These teachers: what horrible, horrible people.

-Umm… uhhh…

So I spilled the beans. I feared for my wellbeing and my future. Was it possible that I could get expelled for going to school drunk? Perhaps not, but at that point in time, I believed that I was in such a gaping hole that it would be in my best interest if I just confessed.

Suspension for 3 days, that’s what I got. Seriously, what the hell was that? Maybe I should’ve just stuck with my one bottle o’ beer fairy tale. Perhaps I should’ve told them that I was allergic. Regardless, there’s no use thinking of what I should or shouldn’t have done. What’s important was to try to learn something from all of this.

Well, what have I learned? Don’t drink and go to school? Maybe, but I’ve come up with something more profound and practical:

If you’re gonna tell a lie, make sure you come through with it—wise words to live your life by.

~ by thekismet on March 16, 2008.